TITLE: Because of Kian
AUTHOR: Sibylla Matilde
SERIES: Bitterroot (Book 1)
GENRE: Erotica
DATE OF RELEASE: 8th April 2014
***** Mature Content, Abuse, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language *****
I know I’m twisted. Growing up in a perfectly well-adjusted home, I don’t really have an excuse. But no matter… I realize how messed up I am. And therapy can only do so much.
I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn't control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge. He wants me to pay for turning him into the monster he’s become. And I still have a deviant yearning that I don’t understand. My own monster inside… my own demon to battle.
I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t give in and scratch that itch. I can’t wreck someone else.
And now there is Kian… my rescuer on a dark, painful night. He sees through my pretense. He tries to pull me from my frightened isolation, to keep me from becoming a victim. He forces me to face my warped desires and shows me that pain doesn’t really have to truly hurt.
He wants to show me a way to serenity. But I am afraid… Will I ruin a good man?
WOW! Just WOW! I fell in love with Kian, the first time he called Brynn 'baby'. This also happened to be the first thing he said, so I was done for pretty early on in the book! Kian was the perfect mix of Alpha male, protective & dominating, but he was also passionate, kind, gentle and oh so loving! Have I mentioned my love for him?
I think I should say at this point that I have a bit of a fangirl crush on Sibylla Matilde. I have read all her books so far, but I have to say Because of Kian is probably my favourite so far. I had the privilege to beta read the book and from page one, right up the very last page, I was hooked. So many emotions went through me when I was reading it, I cried, I swooned, I got angry, I fell in lust, I swooned, I fell in love and I swooned some more. Seriously Kian is HOT!
Kian saves Brynn in more ways than one. Right from the outset, he is there for her, defending her and protecting her. Brynn has been trying to go about her day to day life without drawing any attention to herself. However, she was totally unaware of a certain tall, muscular, blonde, God of a man, who had her in his sights. Brynn was attracted to Kian the very first time they met (I can relate to that!). She didn't want a relationship of any kind, including friendships. Thinking that there was something wrong with her, she tried to stay away because she was scared she would ruin him like she did her last boyfriend. She couldn't stay away though. What started out as a friendship, soon developed into something more. Kian showed Brynn other ways she could channel her desires, by introducing her to kinbaku, which is a sensual form of rope bondage. Unfortunately, Brynn still cannot rid herself of her demons and she continually tries to push Kian away.
The one other friend Brynn makes other than Kian is Sage. Sage has a little girl, Mattie, and she was the perfect medicine for Brynn at times, as only a child can be. Her little innocent remarks, could brighten even the darkest of days. She was definitely a little ray of sunshine all on her own.
As Brynn's past catches up with her, things take a turn for the worst. At this point my heart was in the pit of my stomach, and was ugly crying. I seriously could not take anymore, I had to put the book down, I was so fearful of what was over the page. I couldn't just abandon my Kian though, during this hard time, so I pulled up my big girl panties and read on.
I seriously did not want this book to end. I could read about Kian all day, every day.
My Rating
Holy fuck. She was perfect.
Every time I saw her – feeling the beat at Hyper, rocking above me that day in the gym, in the soft light of her little bedroom lamp, laughing when she played with Sage’s kid – I thought she was even more gorgeous than before. Every time she made my fingertips ache to touch her.
She made my heart ache to love her.
Sibylla Matilde grew up in the mountain valleys of Southwest Montana exploring the dusty Old West gold country on the back of a horse. She attended a two-room schoolhouse beginning in 1st grade & had the same teacher until she changed schools after 7th. Beginning at about age 12, Sibylla discovered historical romance, feeding off of work of Jude Deveraux & Lisa Kleypas. She loves a book that can make the reader run the gamut of emotions, from the sweet glow of new love to gut-wrenching heartache. She is a true romantic & always has stories floating around in her head, living in a fantasyland until she writes them down to free them.
Music is her emotional trigger. Growing up with a Wagnarian-loving mother, Sibylla was raised to treasure music that digs deep into the psyche, drawing out elation, sorrow, grief, desire. The soundtrack to her life includes many genres spanning centuries. She looooooooves Thirty Seconds to Mars (rather obsessively, actually... but, really, how can you NOT be crazy about this guy!? Jared Leto. Shhh. ) & pimps them out to all her friends through Spotify. She also delights in Met Opera HD broadcasts at her local movie theater & hopes (listening Met?) to someday see Diana Damrau reprise her role as Mozart’s Queen of the Night in Die Zauberflöte.
Sibylla lives with her husband and hero who saved her from her own calamitous, young-adult self. He makes her laugh daily, even when things are tough. He's proved to her that love really can heal a shattered soul. In 18 years, they have never had a fight, although argue regularly with their two teenage kids who have, unfortunately, inherited their father’s quick wit (unfortunate as it is a quick wit that Sibylla, herself, definitely does not possess – there is a reason she is a writer & not a stand-up comedian). They live a quiet life with their two weird little rescued Chiweenies. Wait… teenagers & little yap-dogs? OK, maybe not so quiet.
